Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That
Cadbury Creme Eggs are my favorite extreme indulgence. The divine filling, made of what I can only assume is corn syrup, lard and unicorn tears, is the perfect accompaniment to the creamy, intensely sweet chocolate shell.
The unctuous satisfaction of cracking into one of these calorie bombs is (luckily) reserved only for the Spring, so when I see these homemade mockeries posted to Pinterest, my first instinct is, ‘Hell, yeah! I’m going to make these all. the. time.’
And then I read the recipe and I’m like, ‘Damn; I was right. The primary ingredient is self-loathing.’
When I read a little farther, even the blogger who purports to have made these gems in her own home begins to express some dubiousness at the prospect of concocting creme-filled anything. As one would assume, it’s a lot of steps. And there are molds involved.
So to this ‘Oh, Pinterest’ project, I say: Just wait until April when the genuine foil-wrapped articles hit the shelf. (And start hitting the gym now, because like I said, corn syrup. So. Much. Corn syrup.)